Points from the Pastor's Pen

He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord.  Proverbs 18:22

        How is your marriage doing?  How would your spouse answer that question?  When was the last time you and your spouse prayed together, forgave each other, and/or expressed affection to each other?  We live in a day when marriages are struggling and young couples often have no idea of what it takes to make a marriage work.

        Understanding that "God hates divorce," (Malachi 2:16), God's desire is that your marriage would be a blessing to you, your spouse, and your children.  I am suggesting these ten things that if practiced regularly will improve your marriage relationship.

1)   Agree with your spouse (even on the worst days) to never mention the "D" word (Divorce).  

2)   Humble yourself and ask your spouse to forgive you for all the times you have been self-centered and selfish.

3)   Choose to forgive your spouse for all the times they thought only about self and were self-centered and selfish.  Begin to say out loud "Dear God I forgive my spouse."  Someone has said "A good marriage takes two good forgivers" and 1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us "love keeps no record of wrongs." 

4)   Set aside a regular time to pray together and do it.

5)   Do not allow your heart to harden and become bitter towards your spouse.  "The greatest cause of divorce is a hard heart."

6)   Choose to express verbal appreciation and verbal and physical affection to your spouse on a daily basis.

7)   As your marital conflicts arise and cause your weakness to surface, choose humility over pride, admit your failures and ask God to help you become more like Jesus.

8)   Read "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.  Discover your spouse's love language and then love them in their love languages.

9)   Choose to serve your spouse in what ever way they need.

10) If you know your marriage needs help: stop ignoring the issues!  Find a safe place (Pastor or counselor) and insist that you and your spouse go discuss and resolve your issues.

        I understand these ten suggestions do not resolve every marital issue.  But if you will begin to practice even two or three of these suggestions, the quality of your marriage will begin to improve.

        I am asking God to deepen and improve your walk with Jesus and with your spouse.

Your Pastor and Friend,

Joel

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